Hey there, mama-to-be ✨

If you’re feeling a little overwhelmed (or totally under-informed) about what to expect during birth—you are so not alone. There’s a lot of info out there... and honestly, a lot that never even gets mentioned in your typical OB appointment.

But that’s where I come in. As a birth photographer and a mama myself, I’ve walked alongside enough births to know the behind-the-scenes stuff most people don’t talk about—but should.

I’ve shared tips like these before on social media, and every time, mamas flood my inbox saying, “I had no idea!” or “Why didn’t anyone tell me this sooner?” So even if you’ve seen some of these before, they’re always worth repeating—because when you’re preparing for birth, sometimes hearing it again is exactly what helps it click. These reminders aren’t just helpful—they’re empowering.

Here are 10 things your doctor might not tell you about giving birth—but knowing them can help you feel more prepared, more confident, and more in control of your birth experience.

And if one of these sparks something for you, bring it up at your next appointment! You get to ask questions. You get to make decisions. This is your birth.

1. You Don’t Have to Give Birth in a Hospital

That’s right—hospital birth is not your only option. Home birth and birth center deliveries are safe for low-risk pregnancies and often provide a more relaxed, personalized, and empowering environment. Many families find that giving birth outside the hospital feels more intimate and supportive.

Ask your provider: “Would you support me if I decided on a home birth or birth center birth? Would you collaborate with a midwife?”

2. Epidurals Aren’t Your Only Pain Relief Option

Epidurals are popular, but they’re far from the only way to cope with labor. Think nitrous oxide, spinal blocks, TENS units, hypnobirthing, massage, counterpressure, and even water therapy. Many mamas find natural methods surprisingly effective when they’re supported in using them.

Ask your provider: “What pain relief options—besides epidurals—do you support or see most often?”

3. You Can Absolutely Bring Your Own Music or Calming Sounds

Music can transform the energy in the birth room. Whether it’s a calming playlist, ocean waves, worship music, or even a guided meditation—bringing your own audio can help regulate your nervous system and create a sense of comfort during contractions.

Ask your provider or hospital: “Can I play music or use a sound machine during labor?”

4. Birthing in Water Can Ease Labor Pain

Warm water reduces pain, helps with mobility, and provides a sense of privacy during labor. Whether you plan to give birth in the tub or just labor in the water, it’s a powerful comfort tool.

Ask your provider: “Are birthing tubs or showers available to labor in?”

5. You Might Poop During Labor... and It’s Totally Normal

Yup, it happens. It means you’re pushing effectively! Your medical team has seen it a thousand times and truly doesn't blink an eye. It’s one of those completely normal parts of birth that nobody warns you about—but I promise it’s nothing to stress over.

6. You’re Not Limited to One Birthing Position

Lying on your back is not your only option. You can labor and birth in many positions—side-lying, hands-and-knees, squatting, standing, using a birth stool, or even in the tub. Changing positions can help with comfort and baby’s movement down the birth canal.

Ask your provider: “In what positions are you willing to support me during birth?”

As a birth photographer, I’ve seen powerful births happen in all kinds of positions—some of the most instinctive and beautiful ones were on hands and knees or side-lying, where the mama felt fully in tune with her body.

7. Doulas Are More Than Birth Support—They’re Birth Game Changers

Doulas offer emotional, physical, and informational support during pregnancy, birth, and postpartum. They advocate for your preferences, help keep you grounded, and remind you of your strength when things get intense. And no, doulas aren’t just for unmedicated births—they’re for every kind of birth.

Ask your provider: “Do you work with doulas regularly? Are there any you’d recommend?”

8. You Can Eat and Drink During Labor

Gone are the days of ice chips only (in many cases). Light snacks and hydration can help maintain your energy levels, especially during longer labors. Of course, every birth setting has its own policies—so ask early and advocate for what you need.

Ask your provider: “Are there situations where I wouldn’t be allowed to eat or drink during labor?”

9. Your Mindset Matters—A Lot

Visualization, meditation, breathwork, hypnobirthing, affirmations… these aren’t just buzzwords. They’re tools. When practiced ahead of time, they can truly transform your birth experience—calming your nervous system, reducing fear, and making contractions more manageable.

Ask your provider or doula: “Is there anything I can practice now to help with coping during labor?”

10. C-Sections Aren’t a Failure—and They’re Not Always Scary

Whether planned or unplanned, cesarean births are real, valid, and powerful. Understanding how and why they happen, and what recovery looks like, can take the fear out of the unknown. Having a supportive provider makes all the difference here.

Ask your provider: “In what situations do you recommend a c-section? What would that process look like for me?”

Mama, you deserve to walk into your birth space feeling informed, supported, and confident in the decisions you’re making. These questions and insights aren’t meant to scare you—they’re here to equip you.

And if you're looking for a birth photographer in Maine who’s all about empowering you through your version of birth—I'm just a message away. 💛